MY STORY(love is not enough)

 

Last July 16, 2010, my boyfriend in three years broke up with me with a nonsense reason. just because he doesn't want me to go to our fashion show in my friend's debut. I was very mad at him at that time.

In a few days, I became close to this new guy. let's call him Mr. LJ. I was so weak that time, his lips were so sweet, his words were very convincing. then I took the risk. I really left my past and try it without any assurance because that time I thought I would be happier, that this one is better. and yes I was right. my relationship with him was so okay. I'm very happy. my friends and family like him a lot. he is kind and easy to get along with. I was so madly inlove with him at that time. 

and then one night, he told me that he loves me but he doesn't deserve my love that somebody deserves it more.

those sweet days are gone. 

he left me.

I was really hurt.

even though that was months ago, I STILL LOVE HIM.

sometimes I wanna grab him and hug him and tell him to go back with me, I want him to tell me that he is miserable without me because I am.

but now, it's impossible because after that day, we have no good conversation yet. we're not even friends!

the most painful thing is; There's nothing I can do about this feeling. this love is hopeless!

this is the reason why I don't want to try it anymore.

I'm afraid to be left again, to be hurt again. 

because now,

I'm trying to move on

I'm trying to be so happy again.

though I know, sometimes, it's okay not to be okay the bad thing is to hurt yourself.

and I guess I was wrong to my perception that this one is better because now I can say that,

it's really better to choose the one who loves you than the one whom you love especially when you're a girl 

because,

LOVE IS NOT ALWAYS ENOUGH.